How to Control Anger with Your Kids
10 Ways to Control Anger with Kids
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Anger is a primal, spontaneous, basic, but temporary neurophysiological feeling triggered by some sort of thwarting and often heeded as an unpleasant state. Anger is real, powerful - but it need not be denied, feared, or considered bad in and of itself. There are different reasons for a child’s aggression. Whether it’s caused by brain patterns (stress and trauma), genetic predisposition, brain injury or mental illness, parenting style, and attachment, the important thing to remember is the child does not have much control over their behavior.
As parents, it should be our responsibility to help our kids handle their anger and teach them how to control their anger at an early age. In this article, we will provide some useful tips for controlling anger with kids. Continue reading to find out more.
Why kids get angry?
We do not have to look far and wide to the causes of anger in our children; technology is a great contributor on its own. A study has shown as harmless as games can seem on a tablet or mobile device, they are basically a full-on assault on the senses (what scientists would term as a sensory overload).
One of the major causes of frustration and anger issues in kids is lack of focus. When a child’s mind is so entangled in keeping up with the latest game or app, they lose the ability to focus on anything else around them. The real world intrinsically becomes exasperated.
Taking away a kid’s mobile device today is sure to make them freak out, sending a spit of rage to anyone around. Screen addiction is as bad as we deem it to be. Chemically, the dependence of a child on their mobile device is based on the hormone dopamine released in the brain. Like a drug addict, your child can build up dopamine sensitivities that affect motivation and mood.
Yes, technology is influencing how our children react to the real world and the people in it. If its use is not regulated, we most likely will be bringing up robots incapable of feeling empathetic. This most definitely brings about the need for parental control on these gadgets that somewhat own your child.
Tips to help control anger with kids
Restrict digital device usage.
As the digital device has taken up most of our kid's time. Our kids spend less time with their friends or us and get irritated easier due to the lack of personal communication. That's why we need to limit digital devices' usage to get our kids back to real life.
FamiSafe is a free parental control internet filtering software that ensures you keep tabs on what your children get access to on the internet, how long they get access to these sites, and even ensure you keep a tab on your parenting by being able to track your kids in real-time.
Note-worthy feature of FamiSafe
- Tracks real-time location and geo-fencing. You can easily keep track of your children’s whereabouts without having to constantly ask where they are. The live location is automatically updated on your device when you open the application or log into your FamiSafe account.
- App Blocker & Activity Monitoring. You can block app usage during the study or sleep time, monitor how your kids use their phones, what apps are installed and uninstalled, how social media apps are used, what apps are most used, etc.
- Web content filter. You can keep your kids away from potential online threats by blocking any inappropriate or unwanted websites with harmful content such as pornography, gambling, violence, etc.
- Screen time tracking and controls. You can monitor how your kids use their phones, set screen time limits, and ensure that they can’t use their phones during the study and sleep time or in specific places such as bedrooms and schools.
- Flexible remote control and personalization setting. No more having to handle your kid’s phones. Once the app is installed, you can make set everything from your own device flexibly.
Be a role model.
Children often model the behavior they see. If a parent uses verbal or physical aggression, it's more likely that the kids will have aggression issues. The way you handle your frustration and anger is sure to affect your child. Setting a good example is more than a certain way to deal with any impending aggression or anger issues.
Apply physical strategies.
Physical strategies such as engaging in exercise at the gym, yoga, sports, mindfulness are all proven effective in helping young people calm their nerves and gain better control of their choices in healthy behavior.
Let them talk it out.
Calmly ask them to explain the cause of their anger. Talking through the issue can help some kids work through the anger and calm down.
Praise good behavior.
Let your child know that you recognize and notice when they deal with their anger appropriately and positively by praising them when they behave well with anger.
Stay near and connected.
When they are upset, let your child know that you understand what it is they feel and would like to help. It is not necessary that you always come out with a solution for your kid's anger. Your accompany is the one that is more important to them.
Help your child develop emotional intelligence.
Kids who are comfortable with how they feel can handle their anger more constructively. Helping your child develop emotional intelligence requires you to show them the right things to do when encountering certain situations in their lives.
Make learning fun.
Constantly lecturing your kids on why their behavior and actions are wrong will not likely be effective and cause more behavioral difficulty. Participate in a little bit of their imagination by playing make-believe. This way, you can have control over any aggressive turns they might take.
Don’t attempt to orchestrate their feelings.
Value what it is they are experiencing. If they are hurt and crying, don’t say to them, “Stop crying,” validate their experience, saying, “I know it hurts; that would have made me cry too". This will make an ally out of you instead of a target for free-floating anger and anxiety.
Do not set them off to go calm down.
This usually leads to more destructive behavior. Therefore, no timeouts, no isolation. Incorporate the methods talked about in this post: work on breathing with them.
Establish clear standards on acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
Though we want to validate what our child is feeling, allowing these emotions does not translate into accepting bad behavior. By limiting their aggressive behavior, you are establishing a safe container for their feelings.
It is much easier to handle the problem if you know what the root is and how far down it goes. Controlling anger with kids is best addressed if you know the cause of their aggression or frustration. The internet, mobile devices, tablets, etc., all go into one bundle. Screen addiction is the elephant in the room. It has caused children to ignore the world around them; this lack of interaction with the real world would cause them to feel aggressive around other people because they have not learned how to interact outside their virtual time in front of their screens.
FamiSafe Parental Control will help you cure what is treatable (digital addiction), a major cause of anger issues and frustration from children that will effectively control their anger. Download FamiSafe free from the App Store or Google play store and have a try.
How to control anger in children is key, but we have first to recognize and understand what triggered or caused the anger. Besides, the fruit does not fall so far away from the tree, which means that most of the time, your children will be modeling what is right in front of them. Verbal and physical aggression from you as a parent will end up being replicated by them. Convey your own values showing them that they should always be looking for more constructive solutions to conflict and disagreement.