Reasons Why Permissive Parenting Is Bad & How to Correct Your Approach

Having a child is beautiful – they’re likely the person you love the most, and you want them to be happy, but parenting is also an incredibly challenging task that not everyone excels at. It requires setting up ground rules and being strict sometimes, which permissive parents often struggle with.

However, a firm hand is necessary, and the child will need a good authority figure to grow into a well-made and stable human being and become a good person.

That’s why our topic for today is permissive parenting, and we’ll discuss its characteristics and effects and tell you how to make changes, as it’s never too late to fix your parenting mistakes.

Most of us are likely already aware or have heard of the four parenting styles, but do you know what they are precisely or what they’re based on? We’ll start from the basics to help you understand what permissive parenting is.

In essence, psychology recognizes four parenting styles stemming from two primary principles. Those principles are demandingness and responsiveness, which can be high or low in parents. Different combinations of levels of demandingness and responsiveness give us our four parenting styles – neglectful, permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative.

All four parenting styles have pros and cons, except the neglectful or uninvolved parenting style, arguably the worst, as it has only downsides.

On the other hand, the permissive parenting style combines high responsiveness and low demandingness, meaning that children live in a ruleless home with barely any expectations, and parents often indulge the child’s whims in fear of their tantrums.

Such parents are afraid of setting firm limits and often allow children to stay up late, not do their homework or chores, go out with whoever they want and whenever they want, etc. They let children do whatever they want and rarely say no to their requests and whims to make the child happy and true to their nature.

Now that we know what permissive parenting is based on, we can dive deeper into its characteristics and learn how permissive parents act around their children.

Below are some examples of permissive parental styles that might help you recognize your parenting style and start working on the problem before it’s too late.

• Focus on Freedom Without Responsibility

Since permissive parenting is based on low demandingness, permissive parents often fail to give their children any responsibilities, which can negatively affect their behavior and school and work routines. Children of permissive parents often end up lazy and without any work ethics.

Instead of setting some boundaries and holding their children responsible for their actions, such parents allow children all the freedom in the world and let them do whatever they want, which does have a good side, and that’s the fact that children will be able to explore and gain higher self-confidence.

• Letting Children Make Important Decisions

Another alarming aspect of permissive parenting is that such parents let their children make all the critical decisions, which does boost the child’s confidence and self-assurance, but is arguably not the most incredible idea in the world.

Children are young and unprepared to think for themselves, so letting them decide on important things isn’t great. Of course, considering the child’s opinions on things that affect them is good, but it’s also important to remember that you’re a parent and should do what’s best for the child.

• Treating Children Like Peers

Permissive parents prefer being friends with the child rather than being the parent. Instead of being an authority figure, which the child certainly needs, they act like the child’s peers, engaging in friendly conversations and often acting like children themselves to humor the child.

Although acting like a friend might improve the bond between the parent and the child, it will also undoubtedly impact your authority as a parent, which will be incredibly significant in grave or dangerous situations, and the child likely won’t listen to you.

• Lenient Parents

Another characteristic of permissive parenting is parent leniency. Namely, such parents consider themselves nontraditional. They’re lenient towards their children and don’t expect mature behavior from the child.

Moreover, they believe mistakes are learning opportunities, so they avoid confrontation and allow the child to self-regulate, which isn’t an entirely awful idea. However, lenient parents are always like this, and there are situations where the child needs an authority figure to say no to some of their whims and demands.

• Parents Are Overly Responsive

Since a permissive parenting style is all about high responsiveness, it’s evident that such parents are also known for being highly responsive or sensitive to their child’s needs.

Namely, such parents are often relaxed with their children and know of their children’s emotional and physical needs, to which they always react positively, even when the child is overreacting.

Moreover, responsive parents respond without getting angry and know how to pause before reacting, meaning they can often be overly protective of their children.

• Always Saying Yes

Last but not least, permissive parents are also known to be overly friendly and relaxed, often allowing the child to do anything they want. That also includes saying “yes” to all their desires, requests, or demands, which isn’t the most fabulous idea, especially with younger children.

Even if this does increase your child’s self-reliability and confidence and allows them to explore the world according to their pace, it can also be perilous since children don’t know what they’re doing most of the time.

These are only a few characteristics of permissive parenting – you can find many more online. Learning about these characteristics might help you recognize if you’re a permissive parent, and by recognizing this, you might be able to fix some of your parenting mistakes in the future.

Acting like the child’s friend, not providing a clear structure of how things work, having no rules or not enforcing them, and rarely holding your children responsible for their actions are all signs of permissive parenting.

Such parents treat their children like kings and queens, but that can also have adverse effects on the children, some of which we’ll cover below.

• Less Self-Regulation

Permissive parents’ lack of rules, structure, and limits lasts into adulthood, and such children struggle with these aspects their entire lives. That’s why a child of permissive parents might struggle to set clear time limits between studying, working, and watching TV.

Such kids are awful with time management, but it gets worse since poor management skills span multiple aspects and can lead to playing too many games, spending too long on a specific activity, or overeating, which might later lead to obesity.

• Poor Social Skills

As they grow up in a home where there aren’t any rules, or if there are, they’re not enforced in any way, such children can have difficulties later in life. A home without a set structure, a ruleless home, and one where everything is allowed also means that such children never learn the proper social skills.

That includes constantly being late, struggling to follow the rules and guidelines, getting tantrums when they can’t get what they want, lacking the emotional width to form long-lasting friendships and relationships, etc.

• Less Discipline About Their Physical Well-Being

Since permissive parents aren’t overly interested in their child’s safety and view risky situations and mistakes as learning opportunities, children of such parents grow up not caring about their physical well-being and often engage in dangerous situations well into adulthood.

We’ve already mentioned overeating and obesity because of poor management skills that span multiple aspects. Moreover, such children also often engage in alcohol consumption and drug abuse, which can lead to severe problems down the road.

• More Prone to Abuse

Because permissive parents allow their children to go rampant and do whatever they want, rarely saying no to their whims, such children grow up thinking they can continue this behavior in adulthood, too.

That’s why many children of permissive parents grow up spoiled, unable to regulate their behavior, exhibit zero awareness towards others and their needs, and only focus on their own needs.

What’s worse, such kids demand things – if they don’t get them, they’re prone to abusing others.

• Impulsiveness and Aggressiveness

Although all parents should react positively to their child’s physical and emotional needs and learn to pause before responding, permissive parents take this a step further. They’re always lenient and relaxed toward the child, even when the child overreacts.

Children of permissive parents never learn to control their emotions. That’s often the case when they want something they can’t get, which can lead to tantrums well into adulthood. Such children are also aggressive and impulsive and struggle in emotional situations.

• Lower Academic Performance

As permissive parenting is based on low demandingness, children whose parents never made any demands or set tasks for the child to complete often end up with poor academic performance. Studies have also created a link between these two.

In essence, such children never learn about good work and study ethics – when they get to the point when they need it, they often fail. Moreover, such children often have nothing to strive for since their parents don’t have any expectations of them.

These are only a handful of examples of what permissive parenting can do to a child, but many more effects can be found online.

If you’re interested, you’re only a quick search away from learning about more side effects of permissive parenting, which might motivate you to start working on your parenting style.

Now that you know what permissive parenting is, its characteristics, and how it affects children, you can finally start improving things and correcting your approach. However, we recognize the challenge of changing and have included some tips that might help improve your parenting and fix the mistakes you’ve unintentionally made.

Suppose you recognize the signs of permissive parenting and are worried about its side effects on your children in the future. In that case, you’ll be pleased to learn that it’s never too late to make changes, and there’s still time to fix mistakes you might have made as an inexperienced parent.

You can start by letting your children know you’ll be implementing changes. Explain to your children that you’re doing it for them and elaborate on the need for rules, structures, limits, and other changes you might introduce to the household.

As mentioned above, a lack of rules, limits, and structure can cause various behavioral and emotional issues later in life. That’s why setting up some ground rules with your children is crucial, as it’ll massively affect their behavior.

However, years and months of living in a ruleless home can lead to difficulties accepting the rules, and that’s why using a parental control app such as Wondershare FamiSafe is essential to making the children honor the new regulations.

You’ll be able to get an insight into what they’re doing online and offline and get information about their location, which can help you understand where they are, who they’re with, and what they’re doing.

Moreover, in case the kids don’t follow the rules, the app will let you set time limits on certain apps, block specific apps or websites, set up safe searches and web filters, and gain insight into their app and browser history, which can be an excellent way of enforcing new rules and adequately punishing them for not following the rules.

Permissive parents are known for bribing their children with sweets, snacks, and money to ensure appropriate behavior. Although this approach might benefit you, you must also work on punishments and rule-breaking consequences.

When setting new rules, it’s essential that you also elaborate that they’ll need to be followed. Explain that if your children break the rules, they’ll need to suffer the consequences, which will be in the form of lighter punishments, such as taking away their gadgets, grounding them, and making them do extra chores.

Since they’ve likely lived for years without rules and did whatever they wanted, they’ll also probably break the new rules soon. In that case, you’ll need to stay firm and strict, stick to your principles, and show them there are consequences and punishments for breaking the rules.

You’ll inevitably have to do this a few more times since the consequences should be light, and light punishments won’t teach anyone after their first mistake. Repeat the action as often as you need for your children to learn that rules must be followed.

Although it might hurt you as a parent to see your child hurting, crying, or unhappy with your rules and principles, you must remember that you’re doing this for the sake of your child. The earlier you introduce these changes, the more successful and less hurtful they’ll be for both you as the parent and the child.

Permissive parenting is a parenting style that combines low demandingness and high responsiveness, two fundamental principles that make four parenting styles. It’s characterized by loving parents that act as the child’s friends and bribe kids with gifts and food to make them behave better.

However, such parents also provide no structure, rules, or limits, making the child grow up in a home where they can do whatever they want without suffering consequences. Such children have various physical, emotional, and mental issues during adulthood, which makes permissive parenting awful.

Fortunately, it’s never too late to make changes and help your child become a better human. You can do so by setting up rules and enforcing them with a parental control app such as FamiSafe. Moreover, introducing consequences for rule-breaking and sticking to your principles is adamant in improving your child’s life and fixing your parenting mistakes.