Teaching Your Children Self-Control
self control for kids
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Self-control is the art of controlling one’s impulse which more than often leads to erratic decisions. Kids need their demand to be fulfilled immediately. They cannot wait or control their desire.
Since their early days, they get things so easily that they are hardly introduced to the concepts of patience and control. They need not wait for their favorite TV show as it is available in the mobile apps. They need not wait in any queues for any delivery. Parents have a hectic schedule and they believe waiting for anything is a waste of time. This message percolates into the child, which with time makes them impatient.
Why is self control for kids important?
Through self-control kids can imbibe thinking skill that will help them learn to control their moods and behaviors and take good decisions. It has direct correlation with decision-making ability. Low self-control during childhood days will have benign impact on your child; an extra piece of cake or few late night tantrums will not have long lasting impacts. But, consequences of poor decisions and a lack of self-control during adolescence, can be disastrous, both in the short and long term. Their impulsive actions can have profound impact on their health, finances and character. Adolescence is the door to adulthood and the decisions your child will take during these years will mold their future.
Researches have revealed that adults who had less self-control as children are more prone to:
- health hazards (27% as vis-à-vis 11% of the more self-controlled peer group);
- earning capacity lower than $20,000/year (32% as vis-à-vis 10%);
- criminal activities (43% vis-à-vis 15%);
- addiction to one or more substance (10% vis-à-vis 3%);
Impulse control is not an inborn characteristic, it is developed over time. If you are in the middle of recalling your child’s tantrums and the consequence of it, stop! It is never too late to teach self-control skills to your child. For this you will not need any professional help also, you are in the best position to augment his future by encouraging his capacity for self-control. It is a value that can be reinforced, regardless of age.
10 Tips to guide you in teaching kids self control:
- Express emotions. It is best if started early. Infants and toddlers mostly cannot express their feeling and thus resort to tantrums. Talk to them and ask them about their feelings. Let them label their feeling as “Anger”, “Happiness” etc. Emotionally strong kids are capable of better self-control as elders.
- Anger management. While teaching kids self control, it is vital to teach them to control their anger. Show them techniques which will sooth them, like spending some time alone, or taking a deep breath. It will surely help them to be more controlled adults.
- Exploration. Don’t spoon-feed the child and allow him to take his own decisions on small things from early days. Let your pre-school goers decide whether to complete homework or to get scolding from his teacher. Guide him and discuss the consequences with him but don’t compel him or bribe him in to doing his homework.
- Establish rules. As parents it is necessary to set the boundaries and expectations. Let the child know beforehand about a forthcoming scenario and be clear about your expectations. Like if you are going for a birthday party, let him know that he is going to meet his friends and he is expected to share. For teens, if you are planning to gift a new handset to him, explain to him the nuances of mobile usage and the restrictions he might have to face if he doesn’t listen to you.
- Consistency. Be consistent in your reproach. Kids will not obey you all the time, so you will have to correct them whenever required. Every time they repeat their mistake, be consistent in your reaction. A time will come when they will understand the consequence of their actions and try to refrain from repeating it.
- Explain future. Instead of forcing the kids to abide by you, talk to them. For example, if your child has an exam coming up and he doesn’t want to study, tell him “if you don’t study, you will not be able to answer your paper. This will disrupt your learning carve and you will not be able to know new things.”
- Repeat. If the kid does not obey, make him repeat your instructions. “If you stay awake till late night, you will not be able to get up for school tomorrow.” After saying this ask to him, ask “So, what will happen if you stay awake till late night?” Let him repeat your statement and once he does that allow him some time to ponder over his own words. Encourage him to think.
- Chores. Growing up is fun but life is not all about fun. Let your child enjoy his childhood with few responsibilities. As he grows up let him take up more responsibilities and share your burden with him. Self control for kids start with putting on hold the fun things for a while to do the must-do tasks. Delay his TV time until he finishes cleaning his room.
- Limit screen time. Keep your child away from mobile and TV as much as possible as there is nothing that these can teach your child and you cannot. Let your child’s mind explore and mobiles restricts imagination. Spend time playing with your child outdoor. Let him develop his self-confidence. Then games like Simon Says, Red Light Green Light will bolster your child’s self-confidence by making him more methodical.
- Set examples. Last but most important is teach by setting examples. None of the above tips will be effective, if your child perceives you as impulsive. When you exhibit self-control, be vocal about it so that kid understands, like “I so want to watch movie all throughout the night but I will resist as it is harmful for my health”.
FamiSafe Parental Control
Technology has advanced and new tools have been developed to help you in teaching kids self control.
Parental control apps like Famisafe can help you in imbibing self control for kids. Mobile and internet is a must for kids of today’s generation and these are very addictive. Having a disciplined and controlled life is necessary for healthy upbringing of better human beings.
- Kids are brimming with curiosity. Any forbidden area attracts them more and thus the geo-fencing feature of Famisafe can come as a big relief for you. It will notify you the moment your child enters any specific delimited area. Self control for kids is necessary to be sure that they do not entangle themselves into any trouble.
- Know the exact location of your child and ensure that he is at the right place at the right time. The real time tracker will give you the exact location of your child and thus you will know if your kid was in the playground when he should have in the classes.
- It is tough to stay away from the handset when you find it filled with plethora of entertainment. Teaching kids self control becomes inevitable to confirm that they do not use mobiles excessively. FamiSafe’s activity monitor feature will keep you informed about the time spent by your child on the mobile and on each app.
- Constant notifications can be a cause of distraction during study times, so you can use the app blocker feature to block apps temporarily or permanently in your kids mobile, as per requirement.
- You can even lock the screen remotely if you find your child not being able to control himself from using it.
- Internet is brimming with information, not all of which is necessary for you kids. To give restricted exposure, use the web monitoring and content filter feature. Monitor the social networking sites of your kid and ensure about his safety.
Self-control is a continuous process and you can’t rush through it. Kids tend to be imprudent, so use FamiSafe to help them lead a more controlled life. Download the trial version of the app from Play Store or App Store and get used to all the features. Post 3 days, you can subscribe to it for $9.99/month.