How to Recognize Uninvolved Parenting and Make Changes Right Away

Although all parents have vastly different parenting styles, especially when parenting is compared between cultures, there are some essential aspects of raising children that every parent should follow.

If you’ve noticed that your child seems like they’re getting further away from you, barely speaking to you at times, or the encounters you share are becoming unpleasant and short, you could be facing a severe parenting problem.

Of course, every child goes through a teenage phase when they’re distant, rude, and annoyed by everything, but that’s not always the reason for such behavior. That’s why today, we’ll focus on the parenting aspect and discuss uninvolved parenting.

Psychology teaches us that parenting can be categorized into four groups, which you might have heard of as parenting styles. All four groups involve different behavior, but they’re based on two principles. When these two aspects are examined, they combine and give us four parenting styles:

• Demandingness – How much you demand from your child;
• Responsiveness – How you respond to their actions.

One of those is the uninvolved parenting style, characterized by both aspects needing improvement. In essence, it means that both demandingness and responsiveness are low, and that’s why this parenting style is also known as neglectful parenting.

The uninvolved parenting style is regarded as the worst of the four since the other styles have pros and cons, while the uninvolved parenting style lacks advantages. Instead, such parents are known not to address their children’s emotional needs, fail to set expectations, and the relationship between parents and children barely exists.

It’s completely understandable and acceptable to be tired after work or want to spend some time on yourself as a parent. That doesn’t mean you’re involved, and it’s nothing to worry about. Being a parent doesn’t mean you have to spend every second of your time doing something with your child.

Moreover, not wanting to stress your child about their academic efforts or not wanting to talk about it with them before they’re ready is also not uninvolved parenting. Caring about it and talking about it are two different things, and in such a case, an uninvolved parent would not care about it at all.

Finally, letting your child make mistakes and learn from them isn’t a case of uninvolved parenting. Instead, it’s a method of increasing your child’s self-dependency and is something many people confuse with uninvolved parenting.

If you’re worried you’re an uninvolved parent, below are the four most recognizable types of behavior that might indicate it.

• No Rules or Expectations

One of the first signs you might notice is that you’re not setting any rules for your child’s behavior or academic success. Uninvolved parents also often lack expectations and are okay with whatever they are doing and how they’re doing it.

That can lead to various side effects and even cause mental health issues in kids. Moreover, they will likely have low self-esteem, lack confidence, or seek validation elsewhere, causing them to act out and do irrational things.

• Lower Interest in Your Child’s Activities

Do you know what your child is currently doing and where they are? If the answer is “no,” it might signify that you’re uninterested and an uninvolved parent. That also involves their hobbies and interests, which a well-functioning parent will have insight into.

On the other hand, an uninvolved parent won’t know what their child’s favorite sport is, what their favorite class in school is, what games they like to play, what cartoons they want to watch, who their favorite friend is, etc.

• Less Emotional Attachement

Another vital sign of the uninvolved parenting style is the parents’ lack of warmth towards their children, which involves love, attention, affection, and support. Uninvolved parents often ignore an upset or crying child or might even get angry instead of fixing the issue.

Such behavior is characterized by rare interactions, a lack of will to spend quality time with your child, and having no interest in the child’s life, including aspects such as who their friends are and whether they have a crush.

• You’re Focused On Yourself First

If we were to compare the pros and cons of uninvolved parenting, the child would feel all the disadvantages, and the only advantage you could claim even to exist is that the parents would have more time for themselves.

Namely, uninvolved parents often spend vast amounts of time on themselves, putting their needs first instead of the child’s.

Noticing you spend a lot of time going out, browsing social media, watching TV, or relaxing while your child seems bored is undoubtedly a bad sign and might mean you’re an uninvolved parent.

Even if you’re not doing it intentionally, uninvolved parenting can have disastrous effects on your child and the person they become. Therefore, we’ve included a few examples that might help you recognize such behavior and allow you to correct it before it’s too late.

1. Imagine a scenario where the parent comes home from work. It’s normal for the parent to feel tired and want to relax. However, if the child asks to play or eat dinner, the parent should make dinner or spend some time with the child as it’s a few more minutes of “work” but will mean a lot to them and improve the parent-child relationship.
2. Another scenario would involve a parent that would rather watch their favorite movie or TV show instead of spending quality time with their child. Instead, most parents hand their kids a phone and let them watch whatever they want on YouTube or TikTok.
3. You might unintentionally act as an uninvolved parent if you’d rather hire a babysitter and go out for dinner instead of making dinner for your child. Of course, it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to want to spend some time alone or just with your partner, but it shouldn’t happen all the time.
4. Finally, there’s the example of kids rarely talking to their parent(s) and going out with friends or acquaintances where the parent doesn’t even know who they’re with, where they are, and what they’re doing.

Although some examples will demand you work on the problem yourself, others can be improved by looking into what your child is doing when they’re outside the house, which you can achieve with the help of a fantastic app – Wondershare FamiSafe.

It’s an excellent app that allows parents to track their child’s browser, YouTube, and TikTok history, watch for explicit content online and on the phone, and get information about their geographical location. The app is worth trying because it has terrific features that can significantly improve parenting.

As mentioned above, uninvolved parenting is likely the worst parenting style among the four known ones. That’s because such parents are emotionally unavailable and lack proper responsiveness, which is one of the two key aspects of parenting.

These parents neglect the child’s needs, lack warmth towards children, and let the kids live in a ruleless home. Such behavior can lead to various issues with the child, including the children becoming uninvolved parents themselves in the future.

However, change is possible, and if you recognize you’re an uninvolved parent, you’re actually on a good path, which means you can work on yourself and improve your relationship with your children.

Although quite alarming, recognizing the effects of uninvolved parenting on your children isn’t entirely awful. You at least acknowledge them, which means there’s room for improvement and time to make things right and do better for your children.

However, that doesn’t mean these effects won’t last for your children. They’ll undoubtedly leave a mark on them, but you can still ensure it’s not too great of an impact. You can still do plenty for your children, and you can fix your bad behavior by doing some of the following.

Now that you’ve noticed you weren’t such a great parent, you can finally start working on yourself and your relationship with the kids. It involves various aspects, but beginning any way you can is crucial.

Everyone is tired after work and wants to grab a few minutes to sleep, relax, or watch TV. But once you have children, they should become your primary concern, and TV time should never be your priority.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should remove any time you have for yourself from the schedule, but spending quality time with your children will undoubtedly improve your relationship, so you should ensure that you’re prioritizing them.

Not everyone is born ready to raise a family or be excellent at parenting from the get-go, and it’s a skill that we pick up along the way through trial and tribulation. If you feel it might be too much for you sometimes, you can always ask for help. There’s never any shame in that.

That’s why you should consider taking a parenting class. You’ll likely find these throughout your local community or online, but you can also try a hospital or a school and ask for help.

Moreover, you can always try a parenting book or guide, just like you’re reading this one now, as you can find plenty of tips and tricks about parenting styles.

Plenty of parenting material is also available online, and you can look into various parenting methods. That’ll allow you to recognize what you’re doing right and what areas need improvement.

Moreover, these parenting methods will allow you to understand your children’s needs better, and they might even help you find the problem which is causing you, as a parent, to act in a certain way. That’s why they’re beneficial in bettering your parenting style.

Usually, the children of neglectful parents become uninvolved parents themselves, but it’s now time to break the cycle and do better for your kids. Since you’ve noticed such patterns, you can always seek professional help through therapy or counseling.

Although it might seem to you that it’s wrong to spend money “on yourself,” since children are always a financial burden, especially if you’re raising multiple children, therapy can significantly improve your relationship with them.

Even if it’s not apparent initially, your kids will undoubtedly be happier about the quality time you spend with them and the better relationship you build than a few extra toys.

The uninvolved parenting style is the worst of the four in psychology. It’s characterized by parents with low demands of their children both behaviorally and academically and those that show low responsiveness towards their children’s actions and needs.

The lack of warmth, love, affection, support, and attention a child might feel from an uninvolved parent can have detrimental consequences on their mental health and might cause a lack of confidence, self-love, and self-esteem or make the child act out.

That’s why we’ve included a few examples of the uninvolved parenting style and discussed recognizing it. Moreover, we’ve provided various ideas on how you can correct such behavior and even mentioned Wondershare FamiSafe, which can significantly help improve your parenting and your parent-child relationship.